what I'll miss most
by HaxeOrdinary
Summary: Some final thoughts from one of our favorite characters. This isn't meant to be a spoiler but it deals with events that have happened and their possible outcomes.


As mentioned, this isn't meant to be a spoiler of any kind but if you think that it might ruin the next season for you, consider yourself warned. As always, reviews are wonderful and I don't own the characters of alias.

* * *

It was the small things that mattered.

I always knew I'd go out in a blaze of glory but I thought I might have more going for me when I did. Maybe have a marriage under my belt, two point five kids, even own a minivan. I guess I missed my chance. I realize that my life was as far from such a bland normalcy as one can get, but a man can dream, can't he?

The shock was what took my breath away. Not the pain. I've dealt with pain before and that's nothing. But knowing I was dying that—frankly—sucked. My mother once told me that when it's going to happen--you know, death--there's nothing you can do about it. Mom was right—as always. Tell her for me, it'll make her smile.

My friends were the ones that made life wonderful. They made it all bearable at least. They could always make me smile. Things changed of course, but I'll always have the memories.

* * *

"Weiss, are you doing another stupid trick?" Vaughn asked, not bothering to look up from the table so as not to break his strategy making.

"You know," Eric began, he straightened the deck and slipped them into his pocket, and continued, "you're just jealous that I can do something better than you."

"Yeah, that's it," he responded sardonically as he took inventory of the assets before him.

Nadia walked away from the window she was staring out of and shook her head. "You boys and your silly playground antics. You really have no reason to compete."

Scoffing, Eric responded sarcastically, "Thanks. That's a step up from 'sure you're special.'"

"No, I never said you were special," Nadia joked just before his arms reached up and snagged her around the middle. She fought as best she could through her shock and giggles but Eric successfully brought her to his side on the couch. In their struggle, a misguided kick connected with the edge of the Monopoly board, sending cookie-cutter, plastic houses and hotels everywhere.

Michael shot an exasperated glare their way.

"Oh, Vaughn," Nadia said as if she'd just been caught stringing his front lawn, not quite able to straighten her grin. "I'm so sorry. You were actually going to win this time, weren't you?"

"Why do I feel like I'm chaperoning my kid brother when the four of us hang out?"

"Because you've gotten old?" Eric quipped, picking up discarded plates and napkins. He took them to the trashcan before continuing. "You and Syd are just at a different place than Nad and me. We're still having fun and you're ready to pop your teeth out, place 'em in the glass by your bed, take your myriad of evening pills for aches and digestion, and call it a night before the Final Jeopardy song plays."

"Ouch. We're not that bad! You make it sound like we have one foot in the grave."

Sydney entered from her bedroom where she had taken a call from her father. She sank into the couch next to Vaughn and handed him a small bottle. "Here. Take a couple for your knee. It'll help with the pain….Who has one foot in the grave?"

Eric sucked his lips in over his teeth and clamped his jaws together a few times for Vaughn's benefit. Vaughn wrinkled his forehead as if he just found proof that his best friend was in reality a twelve year old boy trapped in a thirty-something man's body.

The Monopoly game long abandoned, the couples decided to call it a night much later when Eric reminded them of the mission he had to go on later that morning. After a quick jab from Vaughn—"now who's old?"—Vaughn walked Eric to the door.

"Weiss, you know how we were joking earlier about how you think you can't do anything better than me? There is something that you're much better at than I."

"Oh yeah? Now you're going to poke fun at my yo-yo skills?"

Vaughn offered one of his trademark, half-grins, "Nah, you've got mean skills with the yo-yo. But, I wanted to say that I wish I had your flare for leaving work at work."

"That makes it sound like you're more devoted than I am."

"Not devoted. Just not knowing when to check it at the door. You've managed to keep hold of what's most important in your life."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"At the end of the day when we're kicking back, or when we're at the office and have been reprimanded by Sloane, you're still you. That never changes and neither have you—in a good way. I wish I could be like that. No one ever has to guess what your feelings towards them are. Even when you hide information, we know it's for our best."

Weiss cleared his throat as he let the words of someone he truly admired as a best friend seep into his soul. Finally, he uttered, "Thanks….I gotta get going before Nadia sees me all weepy. It hurts the image, you know? I'll see you later, I guess."

"You guess? Alright, see you when you get back."

* * *

That was a good night. Some rudimentary male bonding's always good for the soul. But that was a while ago. And things change. Missions are gone on, reports are filed, jokes are made, vacations are taken. Who knew that a vacation could be the worst of them? I wish I would have told him not to go.

I should have known I didn't have a chance. If my best friend, super-spy extraordinaire, couldn't make it out alive, what made me think I could? Ah well, c'est la vie, or c'est la death as my case turned out to be. At least I got to be a minister in the Holy Church of Mammals. I dated a beautiful woman that got me tangled into the most peculiar family known to man. I was shot in the neck—twice. Alright, the second time wasn't real but I call that mighty fine method-acting. And, the first time was by the mother of the before-mentioned beauty. I did things, things that can't even be spoken of, that the average Joe only blogs about. I was part of a secret, crime-fighting organization and I got tangled up in prophesies and madmen and lived the unimaginable. Alright, so I didn't have the wife, the kids, but I can't deny I had a full go-round. It was great. I can't deny that. And what a way to cap it—in a blaze of glory.

Make sure they bury me with my yo-yo.


End file.
